I was doing my daily rounds of paper delivery when the wind started to pick up. Just as I was sliding a paper into mrs. Gildens Mail box, my bag split open under the pressure of all the paper. They went tumbling out all over the side walk. I stooped to pick them up but the ferocious wind, which had been building up as all that had happened, swooped them out of my grasp and they went flying off. I chased them all around the bloke but I just could not catch them.Fealing defeated, I slowly dragged myself home.
8 Comments
Audrey
5/19/2015 03:58:54 pm
Well done that was amazing, you started your story well and ended well. I like how you were talking about delivering the mail, I would never have thought of that. Just check your spelling, but apart from that it was awesome. Keep up the great work!
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Miss Fay
5/19/2015 07:43:11 pm
Great encouraging and constructive feedback Audrey.
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Miss Fay
5/19/2015 07:47:34 pm
Great writing Sylvia! I really enjoyed reading your piece. Your choice of vocabulary really helped to paint a picture in my mind. I particularly like your use of interesting and specific verbs.
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Genevieve
5/20/2015 04:45:24 pm
That was a great piece of writing Sylvia,great job!:)
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sophia
5/20/2015 06:45:39 pm
hi sylvia I loved your story. I really enjoyed reading it. keep writing.
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vanessa team 100, france
5/24/2015 12:14:52 am
Hi Sylvia - I loved your writing this week! A simple story line , told effectively through an excellent choice of verbs. It is well structured, having a clear beginning, middle and end. Try to have one final check for missing capitals and correction of simple spelling errors. Keep up the good work and be proud of your writing!
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Sophia.Foster
5/24/2015 04:06:59 pm
Hi Sylvia! your writing is great. I like your use of language and your story itself.I also like the idea of a paper delivery person. I can imagine the story in my head. Keep writing!!!
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Sylvia
7/24/2015 08:03:47 pm
Thanks Everyone
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